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This transformation of being has come to me in an even stronger and pressing way in these years of working at St. John's. Prayer has become one of the most precious gifts I give myself each day. Life is tough for many, and we have many requests of time, treasure, prayer, relationship... St. John's is one small place in a big world, and God is very much at work among us. I see and feel the power of prayer at work all the time. I pray to be a better person who believes in the loving providence of God in all that I am and in all that I do. It is and must be the essence from where our work and spirit flow.
True stewardship will at long last come when we have finally learned to trust that God is in all things, and when we place our faith and trust in Him without question. When we live and breathe from a place of gratitude and blessing, then we can know all will be well. It does not mean that we will not suffer or experience hardship or feel pain... it means all will be well, whatever our life is about. God has told us, from the beginning of time, that He will be with us always, and we will have what we need. This is a challenging place to live. Many of us have yet to try it out...
We can easily get in word entanglements in our church circles about how we are worshiping, how we are spending money, how we should be spending money, who is on the same wavelength that I can get on board with, etc. We are not consumers of the Church; we ARE the Church. We must take every frustration, every disagreement, every "about to be spoken word" to prayer first, and then we move forward. I believe that when we forget how we began and where the source of our first love came from, we have then forgotten to give honor to the God who breathed life into us.
I feel that we are all being called to our knees in these days of unrest in the world, in our communities, in our families, and in our own souls. God is calling, beckoning, yearning for us to come back to Him, or come to Him for the first time. Our work must continue, but to do it well, we must "pray without ceasing."
"It is we who do not give power and momentum to this capability in our souls, and we squelch it beneath the bonds of either the carnal fleshiness of our bodies or our confused thoughts and scattered ideas. Yet, when we focus our attention on the inner self, divert our concentration from everything external, and refine our mind, then the soul finds its truest fulfillment and exercises its highest powers, which is quite natural... but what occurs during the prayer of the heart is the direct result of God's grace, and it is so delightful no tongue can describe it..."
excerpt from The Way of a Pilgrim
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